It took me a whole month to check and confirm I have not written my own story. Lanji wrote this book for me, except for studying law but I’ve gone through at least 80% of what is in her roots, my roots, and i will officially call it, “OUR ROOTS”. The trial and error has become a lost and found, to me. I was trying o figure myself out, finding it from the public if there was anyone who is going through at least one percent of what I’ve seen in life and I was wondering, “am i in the wrong place?”
In OUR ROOTS, Lanji talks to everyone who is going through the confused phase of life between the age of twenty and thirty.
She talks to us who do things for social media. I remember a meme that relates so much to my life and almost what Lanji expaunded;
“Babe, you look so good, where you going ”
We always do things for the gram. We are living a lie, we have to post a photo of a life routine to prove that we truly are in that life. I love the way she has tried to collect the society together by starting the harambee initiative. She calls it the harambee remix. She relates it to the initial definition of pulling resources together for the purpose of changing our minds and stop seeing each other as enemies or competitors. That we can mutually help each other rise and prosper. I pray it goes well and doesn’t die on the way.
I had seen HER ROOTS in sponsored ads and people’s posts but I was never interested in anything. One day I decided to follow the author,not because of anything in the content of the bok but the images she posts and the ones people post of the book. I realized the lady on the cover page (wh is the author) looks exactly like me and a few days later she posted a photo of an extract from her book that quoted a piece of the book called Challenges in the race For Excellence by Mohammed bin Rashid Al Makhtoum ( “my best part of the book states, “Prophet Muhammad said, ‘None of you will be a true believer until he wishes for his brother whatever good he wishes for himself. ‘” Challenge? Food for thought? “. I fell in love, initially, by the words, I thought the extract was directly from her book and I immediately sent her a direct message via instagram asking her how much the book costed. Partially because she quoted the prophet and partially because the whole thing is in her book. It is her best part. I love the fact that Lanji quotes her best readings, best people, best musicians, best music lines etc. It gives me life, I mean, I can relate. This is how I fully see myself in the roots.
The second touching thing apart from matters of the society and social life Lanji mentions matters of the heart and this confusing phase of life.
She clearly states how our generation is definitely against commitment, and there are always a thousand excuses! (There’s nothing like ‘he taught me how to love again’ otherwise, what happens when he leaves you and is off teaching another girl how to love again? Does love stop or end with these men?) Lanji …. Personally I would say ‘food for thought’ there. The kind of relationships and situationship we go through. The trending statement of “Girls don’t understand how one night stands work; we hit it to leave it, don’t call the next day asking if I got home safe. Leave it! “ shit happens, just make sure you are sure of what you are doing. She again quotes Sam Smith and Adele in matters relationship.
Sam Smith and Adele taught her a life. Never leave a relationship empty handed, Carry something. It doesn’t have to be a Grammy Award,but carry something. Nothing materialistic please. Preferably a lesson.
Other lessons I’d love to share with y’all from ‘our’roots are;
Never let past relationships affect your next relationship at all. Throw on your own crown and remind him whom he’s dealing with.
1.Never let past relationships affect your other relationships
2.Leave the past in the past and enjoy the future.
She says that she hates being asked what she looks for in a guy, what she hates more are those superficial lists that follow right after: “Tall, dark, and handsome with a red Subaru that has dragon artwork on the left hand side” . Personally, I do not hate the question but I do not have direct answer. Ask me on a personal level I will answer you.
Finally the last part that got me sleepless nights trying to finish reading this lost and found book is the roots of our twenties. What exactly happens to us here. Us, ladies. She says “being a woman is a work of God, right from our period, through childbirth, andnup to our menopause. It shocks me when men fail to respect such detailed artistry.” The people we hang around with in our twenties reflect alot about our personalities. She takes a whole page featuring Kanye West accepting Best Rap Album at the 47th Grammy Awards in 2005.
The things we do when we assume it is the only time we have, going to parties, kula ujana, etc. Getting money and getting broke almost immediately, the ‘When I make money’ stories we tell each other, fake mentorships, motivational talks, entrepreneurial talks, real estate etc. We work harder trying to prove we have it, when we don’t, instead of just actually working hard to eventually have it. Smoke and Mirrors, the Mac Muga theory, worrying about our body sizes and going to the gym only to take selfies, hating our rich melanin, oh dear…. Shufaa is quite different here. Mood swings of aunty flow’s period,
Ladies contradictively talking about their bosses and the sugar daddy traits that they sometimes find fancy and other times rate it all out of ettiquets. Have you heard women joking and discussing their “cool boss” but everything they describe is clearly sexual harassment? “
Lanji’s last part of our roots states her Kirk Franklin, where in my situation I say I’m too haraam for the halal and too halal for the haraam.