In the taxi, My phone kept buzzing but I was too exhausted, mentally and physically to bother with it. Then i finally decided to switch it off – Jeez!! 13 missed calls from Fred! “Dude, take a hint I don’t wanna talk to you or anyone else for that matter! arghh!” I shouted to myself and to the now the very worried taxi driver – off my phone went and I threw it into the darkest corner of my handbag. The poor lad said something after the outburst but I couldn’t quite get him. The voices in my head were now too loud i couldn’t hear myself think, let alone the taxi driver’s concerned questions ” Wait,what? There is nothing between us? How dare he! What does he mean nothing? Nothing! What have we been doing for the past few months? That definitely wasn’t nothing. Was it!?” The voices kept shouting. See, the problem with the voices in your head is that you can’t tell them to shut up. Or could you? “Ssshhhh” I had myself scream. The taxi slowed down, and so did everything within and around me. My sight was fading, my hearing followed suit. What has Fred done to me?. Then everything came to a stand still. Finally, some moments of peace, absolute peace.
“madam!” “madam!” “please wake up! ” the voice came from far I thought I was dreaming. How rude, I thought. Why would anyone disrupt my suddenly found and welcomed peace? I managed to open my eyes and saw a man stretching a bottle of water towards me. Where am I? I wondered, confused. The Toyota Corolla Sport packed besides the pavement didn’t look familiar. At first I was scared I was in the car but a few seconds later, I remembered I was in an uber taxi on my way home . With a shaking hand I managed to hold the bottle of water and directed it to my mouth. I took a sip and gave it back to the man then whispered a faint “thank you “. “You had fainted. Gave me quite a scare there. How are you feeling now?” he asked, the kindness in his eyes striking.
“I’m fine now, please take me home ”
At that point we were at the main fayaz bakery junction. Our journey continued as the reality sunk in. “Fred couldn’t have done this to me “, I started thinking. “considering the position in my life I have given him. Yes he found me with Collo, and i told him about the relationship we had, he actually agreed… but he is now my main guy. Shouldn’t it mean something to him? (He really should be something, )[I sighed ]”. That journey seemed so long, it felt like it was taking a whole week just moving from Ganjoni to Buxton. The traffic delay wasn’t helping either.
The music was soothing, I realized. It made me long for my bed, where I could sleep and dream. Dream about prince charming who Would come to my rescue and ask for my hand in marriage. Dream of being in a wedding gown, laying down on the grass and count stars with him. He would name the brightest star of the night after me. I know right! Who dreams of a wedding after discovering they might be sharing a guy with a couple other women?.Hahaa, poor me, love had taken over the maturity in me.
Yeah, yeah! At this moment I didn’t wanna be mature. Who stopped growing anyway? I am still a kid to my mother. Forget about the “other people’s ” love that is based on a ‘scratch my back I scratch yours’ routine, mum gives me unconditional love and let’s me know when I’m to share it with someone.
“Ma’am, we are here” the driver finally broke the silence. (At that point of dreaming at least I got home sober and alive) The counter read 2,050 and I thought “this whole journey seemed to me like two weeks well it’s worth it ” . I placed my hand inside the handbag to get my purse and I felt some strange cold metal-ish object blocking. I removed it to get some room to pull out my purse. It was my phone. My phone had never been off for a whole hour. It looked so new I feared switching it on. I gave the man Ksh 2,500 and told him to keep the rest. He had been good to me. For that short period I thought Fred should come to him for customer care services.
Immediately I stepped down the car is when reality started sinking in. I rushed up the staircase, kicked the door with my left leg and ran straight to my room. I threw the handbag and shoes down and headed to the washroom. Mum and dad were in the living room watching TV but couldn’t enjoy anymore. They came to my room running wondering what was wrong with me. They could hear my voice from the loo crying . The voice of a running nose and murmurs. I was sobbing like a little kid who is lost in a circus show, crying for his mama.
Feature image : Pamba Photography