The following day I went to work wearing black lipstick and caught everyone’s attention. My phone was obviously off and Nisa was worried. When she came, she started joking “you look like a gypsy in that lippy” then laughed out louder than her usual self expecting me to laugh along. She noticed the silence and looked directly into my eyes. “Nina, what is wrong?”
“Nisa, I am mourning ”
“whose death? ”
“Bloody Thorn! He is such a pain! How could he? He didn’t even bother calling, texting or try anything to def…”
I cut her short before she could finish her words. “he called but I didn’t pick up so he left like a hundred messages ”
“didn’t you reply? Where’s your phone? Lemme do you the honors ”
Before she even took a step towards my phone, the devil appeared. Fred was at the gate and had asked the gate man to call me. I was hesitant but Nisa convinced me to go see him. It was almost lunch break so of course he’d come to take me for a lunch date. SMH. It took him 3hours to explain himself, not realising I didn’t even have a grudge on him. Actually, I was enjoying the defensive part of him just that the jealousines was too heavy for me to bear. I still love him. He managed to manipulate me with his words so we proceeded to his home. This time happier than the previous day. He made me lunch like a queen and all my Snow White teeth were on display that day. Fred accomplished all his fishy missions that day, if it was some sort of punishment then I received quite a heavy one. I was drunk in love, drunk that I couldn’t see potholes and lift up a leg.
“Babe I’m sorry, for everything that happened. If you still doubt I can call you the lady and Steve for all of us to solve this issue” this was his pickup line and he knew I would drop the case after a good meal and long kisses. Foolish girl. I smiled and whispered “it’s okay, I’m the one who should be sorry, for misunderstanding and overreacting ”
“Don’t worry baby I understand you, I know how it feels when you love a person too much and get insecure ”
I started crying, crying not because I was joyful or in love, but because I wasn’t sure of what I was doing. I wasn’t sure whether to still trust him or not. Not sure what to believe anymore. I was crying because I was confused and couldn’t find the reason why I couldn’t let go. I have a boyfriend who is so faithful to me but whatever was I doing to myself.
He listened to me cry then he took my face into his hands and pulled me closer and looked into my eyes. He rubbed my tears by his both thumbs and started kissing me. This time as tender as the feeling of a cold soft drink after a thirst. The motion laid me down on bed and got Fred busy with my body. Whatever he was doing with my ears and earrings Satan knows. He loved the many piercings I got , they all always gave him a boner. Rubbing his fingers across the kissed the heaven of my body down the stomach and novel. I know he wished a pierce there too. Every part of my body became his toy that day. I couldn’t talk much since I was still in confusion but what I could do was mourn in satisfaction and submission to his dominant. He cuffed my hands to one end of the bed and tied my legs to the other side of the bed. This was quite interesting. He knows what turns me on so he headed on to the fridge and got some ice cubes placed them on the weakest parts so I lost all control. This time, he somehow managed to get the waters in the shell without my knowledge. My mind was too busy to realise anything was dangerous.
I felt safe on his bed and was fast asleep. Dusk came and Fred humbly woke me up to an Uber drive back home. That night I was as happy as I always am when I see good food.
Tell me about body pains after a month. “Nisa I think I’m pregnant ”
“I also think you are ”
Do you know how cheesy breaks? Neither do I, but I felt like that just happened. Nisa couldn’t even be humble from the text. How would she act when I see her face to face? I rushed to the pharmacy to get the pregnancy test, came back home and tested and guess what? Guess what…. All hell broke lose. Been calling Fred and he doesn’t pick up. He had been hearing of the symptoms since I started telling him I’m fatigued, no appetite, body gain etc he just couldn’t have given me a clue but when I texted him “love, kindly call me back when you’re done we need to talk”, he switched off his phone. Poor girl couldn’t figure out simple mathematics that this shouldn’t even be news to any of us. If Nisa already knew what went on what am I left of? In whose house? ‘Mama’s gonna swallow me alive then deep her finger in her throat to vomit me as a whole again. Papa’s gonna roast me and make me Christmas berbecue. Where am I running to? Ouh, I am flashing this disaster but where am I getting the money from? I mean, where am I even starting? ‘
That night was longer than all the nights of that year, it almost felt like another 365days. This is where I wished I learnt my lesson from the beginning. From the day I saw the other lady. ‘I have school fees and I am going to abort using this money, dear unborn, I’m sorry but I just don’t know what to do. You can be as mad as you wish and I accept all kinds of punishment but not now please. Not in my parents house. I am not happy about this either but I have no option. Wishes cannot build a railway honey but regrets will caution me more often from today onwards ‘